my life, not yours

why do people care about me? why do they care about the facts that i am fat, have bad skin and blue hair? WHY DO THEY MIND??? i just don't get it

the end of an era

it's currently summer and next yeat i will be a senior. i will finish school in less than one year. and to be honest, i am so scared. scared, that my life will go downhill because i have no clue what to do with it. what do i want to become? a teacher? a doctor? i just don't know.

a new beginning

I haven't been blogging for quite some time now, but I've decided I want to get back to writing down my thoughts. I don't want to commit to anything because I just don't know what my life is at the moment to be honest

new years resolutions

new years resolutions. we all have them, don't we. but what's the point of them , i mean most of us don't stick to them anyway.
i had 3 new years resolutions,

1.) read everyday in Demi Lovato's "Staying Strong 365 Days A Year"

2.) be more honest and be happy (including to leave people that made me feel bad behind)

3.) read a lot more


Well....

The first one didn't work out.

The second one kinda did. I did leave one "friend" behind, as I mentioned before but i still feel like there are so many fake people in my life that i should get rid of. maybe i will in the future, who knows.

and the 3rd one is kinda unclear. i did read one full book this year and i'm currently reading the second one and i've got 3 books that i haven't read yet but we'll see i guess.

these are my new years resolutions and i feel like those are possible compared to the ones that most people have like "eat healthy" or "workout everyday" or "drink more water". i've been there. I've had these resolutions. but guess what. they didn't work out. they never did.

i'm not saying that they don't work for anyone but the chance is just really low to stick to them. but still, what is the point in these resolutions? do they make us feel better about ourselves? or do they make us think that we are capable of a whole lot more than we think. again, i don't know it but i will think about it (just another resolution, but i'll honestly try ) and maybe i will find an answer.

essays

my german teacher wants me to write an essay but i have seriously no clue what or how to write. someone send help!

12 years

today 12 years ago, my mother's true love, my uncle's brother my aunt's bestfriend and most of all the best dad i could wish for, passed away.
this day is always different to all the other day of the year. i remeber how different our life would be if he was still here. would we have more money? would my mother smile/laugh more? would my family argue less? would we still talk to most of our relatives?

i don't know what would be and i guess i will never find out

decisions

i've been friends with this girl for about 6 years. at least i thought we were. the day before yesterday i "ended" our "friendship". We both knew it was over for a couple months. and i know it was the right thing because we were just not getting along anymore but still. it's a friendship, a bond, that is over. am i supposed to be crying? be angry? feel relieved? i don't know.
at the moment i just feel nothing. maybe that comes by the time that our friendship won't come back. and maybe i will miss her someday. but not right now and maybe that is okay. maybe it is okay to leave people behind and start new. maybe